Left waiting

<sup>★ A mini vent ?? I pretend like it doesn't bother me that my friends completely blow me off. But it really does. I often end up feeling like those who I adore the most just absolutely hate me. And I'm not talking about new friends, people I barely know. I mean friends of YEARS AND YEARS who I constantly reach out to, but they could care less about me now. I'm not very interesting at all. I don't mind if we don't talk, I just like to know I still matter to them...;; I'm VERY VERY patient !!! I just,, like to feel like they still like me. I hate bothering people..;;;

I have a very very hard time connecting with people. I have many many friends. But only a handful I feel a true connection to. For me, friends come and go. They lose interest in me and my art, and just leave. That's it. It feels like a lot of people befriended me expecting a ton of free art like I did for my closest friends, but no.. that's not how that works ! As soon as people realize they won't get things from me, they leave. Therefor, I keep myself at an arms length. I won't allow myself to be hurt over someone who doesn't actually care about me.

When it comes to getting "gift art" from me, it's very rarely done without reason. I don't do requests, no matter how close the friend. I draw what I feel like drawing. And if a friend draws for me, I'll draw for them back. If I draw for them, they often give back. Like,, if you check one of my closest's friends galleries: notlucy.deviantart.com/gallery… Her gallery is FILLED TO THE BRIM with stuff she did for me as well. It's not just my gallery that's overflowing with gift art for her. We don't talk as much anymore, but I still treasure her. And I appreciate when she takes time out of her day to send me a message or leave a comment on one of my pieces. (sry for using u as an example babe xoxo NotLucy)

Don't expect to get anything out of me without putting in actual effort into the friendship. I will not draw for anyone unless I want to. I'm very easy to befriend, I love making friends, but getting close is one hell of a challenge.

★ Please do not reference, edit or repost my work. My work is not to be used without permission !</sup>